Eight of Swords

From the Rider-Waine deck, the most popular tarot deck.

Currently, I am typing up draft #2 of chapter 5. It's been quite slow, especially with schoolwork, and trying to weave in a lot of new scenes that were not present in the first draft. But slowly and surely, I'm inching my way towards the day I can start submitting my manuscript.

I'm not sure how much of a spoiler this is, but Isolda is the eleven-year-old paraplegic wheelchair-bound tarot card-reading princess in my novel. The very first tarot reading she gives when readers meet her has the tarot card Eight of Swords. I'm not going to say who she's reading her cards for, but she tells her querent that the Eight of Swords symbolizes one who is blinded by fear. Notice how the woman in the card has a blindfold on and is bound in fear? Yet, all around her, the swords are just standing or lying there. They are not harming her. However, she is too frightened to realize this, and is therefore trapped in her own fear.

From the Gothic Bohemian Tarot Deck, which I own and read.

As quoted from Ata-Tarot.com, the Eight of Swords "usually indicates a time of powerlessness and restriction, and more often than not this restriction is self-imposed. You may be holding yourself back because you fear moving into the future, or because you are wary of getting hurt by a new situation....The reason for its manifestation is to show you that you can escape your situation just as quickly as you put yourself into it....No matter how difficult your situation, the Eight of Swords shows that there are always options and ways to escape."

I think this is something everyone can relate to. Sometimes, I can get so scared of failing or being rejected, that I might just forfeit and never pursue what I wish I could achieve. Now that I think about it, it's like writing--I have encountered people who say they wish they could write, but they believe they can't because they are self-proclaimed "horrible writers" or that they can't focus on writing. Not meaning to sound preachy, I think one should shed self-doubt and the fear of being vulnerable to rejection or failure. Even if it doesn't work out, the best you can say is that at least you had the experience of trying, and you know that you did not merely curl up on a couch and stuff yourself with ice cream because that was the safest course to traverse.

The Eight of Swords also applies to my own personal fears. There are times I become paralyzed with thoughts of what may happen in the worst-case scenario, but I know I can't stay still. I have to take action! I have to be able to cut away at my bounds and face my fears and perhaps realize that, all along, my fears were only monsters in my mind, and that they are not manifested in reality. I also have a huge fear I'm facing tomorrow...something in my personal life...it gives me intense shivers and jitters thinking about it, but I'm prepared to face it head-on, even if it slaps me in the face. Even a slap is a confirmation of what may happen tomorrow to me.

Oh, my cheesy ramblings! Well, I hope you at least got something from this blog post. :)